[Javanoth]

A Short Guide to Comparative Religions

Taoism - Shit happens.
Confucianism - Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism - If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism - What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism - This shit happened before.
Mormonism - This shit is going to happen again.
Islam - If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
Stoicism - This shit is its own reward.
Protestantism - Let this shit happen to someone else.
Calvinism - Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Pentecostalism - In Jesus' name, heal this shit!
Catholicism - Shit happens because you deserve it.
Judaism - Why does this shit always happen to us?
Zoroastrianism - Shit happens half the time.
Marxism - This shit is going to hit the fan.
Atheism - No shit.
Seventh Day Adventist - No shit on Saturdays.
Existentialism - Absurd shit.
Agnosticism - What is this shit?
Nihilism - Who gives a shit?
Deconstruction - Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.
Christian Science - Shit is in your mind. MooniesOnly happy shit really happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses - Knock, Knock, shit happens.
Scientology - Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard
Hare Krishna - Shit happens, Rama Rama.
Hedonism - There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Rastafarianism - Let's smoke this shit.